Patches of blue

“You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words, who is willing to create a place where your imagination can wander. We build this place with the sand of memories; these castles are our memories and inventiveness made tangible. So part of us believes that when the tide starts coming in, we won’t really have lost anything, because actually only a symbol of it was there in the sand. Another part of us thinks we’ll figure out a way to divert the ocean. This is what separates artists from ordinary people: the belief, deep in our hearts, that if we build our castles well enough, somehow the ocean won’t wash them away. I think this is a wonderful kind of person to be.”
— Anne Lamott

That I have been deliberately avoiding writing is something I’m very much aware of. It is the imagery of the ocean that brought me back as ironic as that is.

For those of you who read my words with patience and understanding, I have no words to thank you for your time. You read what I think of the world, well, at least the one I’ve known and yet, in some ways, never known.

There are those who keep revisiting for news on the City. Its lights dim with time but for me, they are as bright as ever. Besides, if bijli fails, we still have candles.

To my loved ones, thank yous are surface level words which barely cover the expanse of how far we have come. Alhumdolilah. For everything.

Many of those whom I had taken for granted have left. They will not return. I have to meet them There. You know where There is, don’t you? I know where mine is. It’s worth getting There, don’t worry. I read this in an obituary and it was as though I was back again in grade X, writing that composition, having it checked and photocopied for everyone else to read

You caught

The scent of roses, and flew to

The rose-garden.



And there is Maryam. I take her name here because although I have never met her, I know she exists and that alone is the greatest miracle I have witnessed, the greatest blessing I have received in my entire 17 years. I will write her a letter one day. Maybe she will want to read it.

That reminds me, a friend wrote this for me:

This and so much more keeps this boat from sinking and will, Allah willing, cause it to find its shore.




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