welcome to the city of the dead

we are under severe confusion. all of us.

first,

is it a crime to help? help something which can be fixed… but its just people dont want it fixed.

that hurts so much.

anyway

the city of lights has vanished. there is blood ebbing in our streets. no, not from the sacrifice of Eid.

this is the blood of the martyrs. the blood of the innocent. the blood of truth.

what does this say?

nothing.

it’s a silence engulfing us. we’re not awed. we’re not speechless.

we’re scared.

we dont know what to say.

for words come out all wrong. and people do not help anymore (back to that again).

you see, this is the city of the dead.

because the dead.. are.. dead. they are cold. inside out.

so are we.

in fact we’re worse.

we’ve got hearts of hatred, and minds which have no mercy.

so,

welcome.

to the city of dead.

makola.

CofD

on martyrs

We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return.

nearly everyone would have read or heard or googled up the details on Marwa Shebini’s death. or more like, martyrdom.  so, they’re calling her the Martyr of Hijab.

most of us Pakistanis are aware of the missing person named Aafia Siddiqui and how impossible it seems to get her back safely.

both these two news have not much in common. but i cannot fear for Ms. Aafia, for she is safe because she has not lost hope, and neither have we.

rewind fourteen-hundred years back… would this have happened? perhaps.

but now?

it just seems weird.

a moment of silence for Ms. Marwa, who I didn’t know anything about till this week. i pray she has found peace, and that her family is alright in every way possible.

i cannot say more, for i am inexperienced in these things. and perhaps, i don’t wish to say more.

with this hope that the world may some day find peace [as it is destined to],

makola

city of (vanished) lights

fields of innocence

 

you can’t tell someone to stop thinking about things which YOU don’t want to think about. i tried telling my brain that.

it didn’t work.

yeah, but for an anti-reality, struggling-with-school, muslimah like me, stopping THAT BOOK from appearing into this overworked mind is a rather tough job.

 

yep, suffering here!

“i want to go back to knowing nothing at all”.

not happening.

that was noisier than i thought it would be

one more day of lost musings. no point made, till now. except perhaps some which have unsupported reasonings and cannot be possibly put in ink for all the world to see.
madness, i’ve already told you.
so.
rambling on with geography maps open. right now, stuck in the Siwaliks. will drizzle down towards the Indus delta.
till then

makola
city of lights

today of all days.

 

life sucks.

yeah, you ought to know.

today is an excpetionally O.K. day, apart from usual haziness, there was nothing unprecendented.

went to the airport, stared at people for like, an hour. came back with my ears plugged with vanessa carlton blasting off. wrong terminology, sorry.

so then, i [nearly] slept. NEARLY!

meme and fifi, were curled up the whole day. they’ve started meow-ing a lot nowadays. which means they need more food. how hungry can a kitten get?

so yeah, helped mami feed them.

then.

DIED.

well, nearly.

and now, am at nani’s with nothing to do. waiting for maghrib azan because i want to go home.

one of my relatives just came back from visiting the IDPs. as if it could’ve gotten worse. but yeah, i’m hoping they can go home again. if i were them, i would have wanted to go back. badly.

evening, everyone.

makola

city of lights.

’cause she cant stop the noise

it has not yet rained.

tears?

nope.

i’m waiting for something near to a miracle [as if i havent seen enough already].

yeah, so. anyway, the Life’s Too Short short story competetion 2009 is in going on, with only the judge’s decision to be heard.

all i ask for is rain, and someone who can stop this noise from excavating holes in my already-dying brain.

love earth,

makola

khi, pk.